He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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