His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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