The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
