Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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