omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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