The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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