I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize