If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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