exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
