Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
