I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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