Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
sex in a hospital.. check
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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