if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sext me about skeletons
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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