I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
