i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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