'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
