According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Terrible idea I love it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
