It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
