Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize