You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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