i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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