if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
