You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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