Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
