and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
