I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's shark week go big or go home
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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