God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
