Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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