Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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