there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize