Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
