She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I only lived at night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
