I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
