You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She needs sedatives and a leash
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
