names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
