I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize