I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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