There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The uberlube is also flammable
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
