i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
