she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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