Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
