when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
