i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize