Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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