i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
