Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We just shotgunned beers for America
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
