Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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