had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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