Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize