your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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