GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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