Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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