she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
