in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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