We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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