im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I've blown a few things in my day
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
