He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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