im drinking this country out of the recession.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
