I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
