Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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