I bet he comes in French.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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