I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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