Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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