let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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