We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yo dont text me then not text me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize