ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
