That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
